I clean house once a week for good friends of mine, an absolutely delightful couple in their LATE 80's - both of them. They live with their single grown up daughter and two fat, lazy cats. The husband has been battling one cancer or another for over a year. His health is in a state of rapid decline. He's lost over 85 lbs. since I've known them and the smile in his eye is beginning to dim. Up until Saturday, the wife was doing quite well. Saturday she complained of discomfort long enough the three of them finally decided she needed to be taken to the hospital. They immediately admitted her. Test results indicate damage to the valves in her heart, the kind of damage indicative of a heart attack. Apparently, in women, the signs and symptoms of a heart attack in progress can be very different from that of a man. Those typical to men are the ones our society has been taught to recognize. Why haven't we been informed of the differences? Ignorance and just plain laziness are the first two words that come to my mind. This is very disappointing for such a highly technical, supposedly gender equated society. The ramifications of delay could, and probably will affect the quality of her life and those who care for her. Had the husband and daughter recognized what was going on sooner they would have undoubtedly gotten her the help she needed right away. Further, when asking about possible treatments and medications, the daughter was told the statistics recorded for drug effectiveness, side effects and drug interaction come from "male" only research subjects. That being the case, they can't be sure how these options will affect her mother. Everything for her will be a guessing game. I find this whole situation extremely troublesome. We can send people - even women- into space, we can blast images and technology to tiny handheld devices, pay bills and shop on-line, but we won't update critical research data and educate our own society on the differences in how heart attacks manifest per gender?! This is appalling in my opinion, doesn’t say a whole lot about us as a society – or then again, maybe it does. That’s scary.
Before I went down to clean this morning, I got a voicemail from the daughter. She was relaying her Mothers, who is still in the hospital. Among other things, I am to change the sheets on her bed. "Mom would like you to use the PURPLE SHEETS please. I don’t’ see what difference the color of sheets make but she said you would get it.” Ah . . . . . yes . . . . . I do get it. You see, "Mom" is a character – so we relate. Her husband of 62 years still calls her Precious – for good reason I say. Mom likes color. Mom likes mysteries, adventures and fun. Mom doesn't care a whole lot what other people think about her. Mom dances her own dance. And Mom likes HATS! She has stacks of them - on shelves, dressers and side boards. Wide brimmed, narrow brimmed, Summer time hats, hats for Spring, hats for Winter, ball caps bearing every possible form of decoration, berets with pins, fuzzy fury hats and more! They are playful, whimsical, functional, delicate, in your face, or make a statement. Her hats are Razzle Dazzle - like HER. She still does her nails and gets pedicures and makes her husband get pedicures too! Mom is a woman every bit as bright and colorful, bold and delicate as her hats. Mom has FLARE!
So . . . . I put those "in your face purple" sheets on her bed, found her favorite sunset with palm trees pillow cases (complimenting the purple of course) and put them on her pillows - she likes her cases doubled please, and I smiled to myself knowing she will smile and her spirits lift when she is greeted by the colorfulness of her bed.
Before I went down to clean this morning, I got a voicemail from the daughter. She was relaying her Mothers, who is still in the hospital. Among other things, I am to change the sheets on her bed. "Mom would like you to use the PURPLE SHEETS please. I don’t’ see what difference the color of sheets make but she said you would get it.” Ah . . . . . yes . . . . . I do get it. You see, "Mom" is a character – so we relate. Her husband of 62 years still calls her Precious – for good reason I say. Mom likes color. Mom likes mysteries, adventures and fun. Mom doesn't care a whole lot what other people think about her. Mom dances her own dance. And Mom likes HATS! She has stacks of them - on shelves, dressers and side boards. Wide brimmed, narrow brimmed, Summer time hats, hats for Spring, hats for Winter, ball caps bearing every possible form of decoration, berets with pins, fuzzy fury hats and more! They are playful, whimsical, functional, delicate, in your face, or make a statement. Her hats are Razzle Dazzle - like HER. She still does her nails and gets pedicures and makes her husband get pedicures too! Mom is a woman every bit as bright and colorful, bold and delicate as her hats. Mom has FLARE!
So . . . . I put those "in your face purple" sheets on her bed, found her favorite sunset with palm trees pillow cases (complimenting the purple of course) and put them on her pillows - she likes her cases doubled please, and I smiled to myself knowing she will smile and her spirits lift when she is greeted by the colorfulness of her bed.