My mother always said,"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I've been silent for 5 days. It's not that I'm angry, well, maybe I am. But not in a rage. It's more disappointment - and dread. When I was a kid, I believed that if I worked really, really hard for something I'd get it. As a grown up, now I know, I can work really really hard for something and just get tired - and drained of happy. Normally I'm really good at finding joy in little things. Sometimes, the void is too deep to fill.
The dread I mentioned is directly related to the holiday season. It's disheartening to be reminded of how limited my means are. Once again, my budget is stretched thin just to make bills. Once again my budget won't reach where I want to go. Happy, happy people all around and I'm dieing inside. I am lonely for the people I love.
Something good? Our little Buntah seems to be taking to "life with a human family" quite well. She seems to enjoy hanging out with us. Sometimes, when she's outside in her 'Townhouse', if she's had enough and wants to come back in she sits at the edge of her tank (the side facing the house, otherwise she faces the opposite direction) with her little hands on the glass peeking inside. She doesn't try to run from us anymore when we pick her up and frequently when whoever is holding her puts her away, she clings to our hand or tries to climb back up our arm. She even snuggled against Ginger tonight! Ginger doesn't know it, she was asleep and Buntah was very stealthy. She even made a nuisance of herself by sitting on Pipers homework while she was studying. Now, when you can make a nuisance of yourself - that's FAMILY! I bring this up because Buntah makes me smile.
The dread I mentioned is directly related to the holiday season. It's disheartening to be reminded of how limited my means are. Once again, my budget is stretched thin just to make bills. Once again my budget won't reach where I want to go. Happy, happy people all around and I'm dieing inside. I am lonely for the people I love.
Something good? Our little Buntah seems to be taking to "life with a human family" quite well. She seems to enjoy hanging out with us. Sometimes, when she's outside in her 'Townhouse', if she's had enough and wants to come back in she sits at the edge of her tank (the side facing the house, otherwise she faces the opposite direction) with her little hands on the glass peeking inside. She doesn't try to run from us anymore when we pick her up and frequently when whoever is holding her puts her away, she clings to our hand or tries to climb back up our arm. She even snuggled against Ginger tonight! Ginger doesn't know it, she was asleep and Buntah was very stealthy. She even made a nuisance of herself by sitting on Pipers homework while she was studying. Now, when you can make a nuisance of yourself - that's FAMILY! I bring this up because Buntah makes me smile.