First thing I have to say, I really do LOVE my dog - and it's a good thing I do. However, this morning, she provided me with probably the second most embarrassing moment of my life! The first most embarrassing story involved a CIT (Child In Training - toilet training) and a mall. I'd have to get permission from 'the child' to share that story. It was a doozy, freaking HILARIOUS to some, freaking EMBARRASSING to me!
My time was limited this morning so instead of taking Ginger for her long normal walk, we had to do the short routine - the deserted corner space behind the busy office building next door. To get to this space, you must got through the parking lot. Wen went down, did the business and started back. I had to keep her in the center of the lot away from the trees and bushes or she would top and sniff something every two feet. Like I said, I was in a hurry. As we were walking between the car aisles, I heard a vehicle approaching us from behind. To be certain I looked behind me to check. Yep, big black shiny full size SUV wanting to get past us. So I did what anyone would do - move out of the way. Well . . . I was moving, but Ginger was not. She was dead weight on the end of her leash. I turned around to see what the hold-up was, and, oh geez, are you ready for this? She had plopped her butt on the ground, had her back feet sticking straight out in the air, tail trailing behind her and she was BUTT SCOOT - SCOOT - SCOOT - SCOOTING RIGHT THERE IN THE FRIGGIN PARKING LOT! RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THIS POOR GUY WHO WAS TRYING TO GET AROUND US! IT WAS A LONG DRAG TOO!! I'd been pulling on her leash when she sat down and continued pulling on it now. We looked like one of those pictures you see of someone trying to get a donkey up off its ass! "Ginger! Get up!" I hissed at her. She just looked up at me - scoot, scoot, scooting along, ears pointing out in that "oh this feels good" pose. She looked up at me and was like, "Whut? scoot, scoot, Whut? It itches!" She was smiling relief big as you please! You could almost hear her, "Ahhhh!!!! That's goooooood." And she would not get up! Just sat there, scooting and smiling, scooting and smiling. I was pulling on her leash, calling to her, bribing her, anything I could think of. I didn't DARE look at the driver, I was so embarrassed! Once her itch had been satisfied, she hopped up, shook all over, then trotted off with happy perky ears. She looked over her shoulder at me, "Well, are you coming?" I felt like I needed to apologize to the driver, a least acknowledge is patience, so I looked up. He was wiping at tears while simultaneously rocking back and forth LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF!! I could HEAR him through closed windows!! I could feel my face on fire. I smiled my most apologetic smile, mouthing "I'm so sorry!", and he just laughed all the harder. He gave me a TWO thumbs up as he slid slowly past us! He rolled out of the lot, laughing all the way. Before he exited the lot, he turned to look at us once more. He burst out laughing all over again - laughing, laughing, laughing!!! Thank you so much Sammy!!!!
This wasn't my best morning. Actually it was one of THOSE mornings, you know when stupid shit just happens. Earlier that same day - I ran into a tree. Yup, that’s what I did. Somehow forgot there was a tree outside my front door (Piper says it’s because I’m getting old, yeah thanks Luv). I hit my head on the low branch - got a nice big throbbing lump for it too. Then, five minutes later and a little further down the sidewalk, DAMNED IF I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANOTHER TREE! Trunk this time, HEAD-ON! Piper decided I couldn't be trusted not to run into trees today so she made me switch sides of the sidewalk with her - you know, out of the line of fire. She often wonders out loud how I managed to become an adult. She wondered that out loud again this morning. She's sixteen. Most teenagers feel that way about their parents sometime or another. In this case she might have a legitimate point.
My time was limited this morning so instead of taking Ginger for her long normal walk, we had to do the short routine - the deserted corner space behind the busy office building next door. To get to this space, you must got through the parking lot. Wen went down, did the business and started back. I had to keep her in the center of the lot away from the trees and bushes or she would top and sniff something every two feet. Like I said, I was in a hurry. As we were walking between the car aisles, I heard a vehicle approaching us from behind. To be certain I looked behind me to check. Yep, big black shiny full size SUV wanting to get past us. So I did what anyone would do - move out of the way. Well . . . I was moving, but Ginger was not. She was dead weight on the end of her leash. I turned around to see what the hold-up was, and, oh geez, are you ready for this? She had plopped her butt on the ground, had her back feet sticking straight out in the air, tail trailing behind her and she was BUTT SCOOT - SCOOT - SCOOT - SCOOTING RIGHT THERE IN THE FRIGGIN PARKING LOT! RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THIS POOR GUY WHO WAS TRYING TO GET AROUND US! IT WAS A LONG DRAG TOO!! I'd been pulling on her leash when she sat down and continued pulling on it now. We looked like one of those pictures you see of someone trying to get a donkey up off its ass! "Ginger! Get up!" I hissed at her. She just looked up at me - scoot, scoot, scooting along, ears pointing out in that "oh this feels good" pose. She looked up at me and was like, "Whut? scoot, scoot, Whut? It itches!" She was smiling relief big as you please! You could almost hear her, "Ahhhh!!!! That's goooooood." And she would not get up! Just sat there, scooting and smiling, scooting and smiling. I was pulling on her leash, calling to her, bribing her, anything I could think of. I didn't DARE look at the driver, I was so embarrassed! Once her itch had been satisfied, she hopped up, shook all over, then trotted off with happy perky ears. She looked over her shoulder at me, "Well, are you coming?" I felt like I needed to apologize to the driver, a least acknowledge is patience, so I looked up. He was wiping at tears while simultaneously rocking back and forth LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF!! I could HEAR him through closed windows!! I could feel my face on fire. I smiled my most apologetic smile, mouthing "I'm so sorry!", and he just laughed all the harder. He gave me a TWO thumbs up as he slid slowly past us! He rolled out of the lot, laughing all the way. Before he exited the lot, he turned to look at us once more. He burst out laughing all over again - laughing, laughing, laughing!!! Thank you so much Sammy!!!!
This wasn't my best morning. Actually it was one of THOSE mornings, you know when stupid shit just happens. Earlier that same day - I ran into a tree. Yup, that’s what I did. Somehow forgot there was a tree outside my front door (Piper says it’s because I’m getting old, yeah thanks Luv). I hit my head on the low branch - got a nice big throbbing lump for it too. Then, five minutes later and a little further down the sidewalk, DAMNED IF I DIDN'T RUN INTO ANOTHER TREE! Trunk this time, HEAD-ON! Piper decided I couldn't be trusted not to run into trees today so she made me switch sides of the sidewalk with her - you know, out of the line of fire. She often wonders out loud how I managed to become an adult. She wondered that out loud again this morning. She's sixteen. Most teenagers feel that way about their parents sometime or another. In this case she might have a legitimate point.