Had an interesting call first thing this morning, Raylin called to wish me a Happy Father's Day. Huh?! I quickly peeked under the sheet, yep I was still a girl, so what gives? Was she trying to mess with my brain at 5:30 a.m.? If anyone is going to mess with my brain that's the perfect time for it. No, it wasn't that. She said for most of her life - and it's true - I've been both Mom and Dad for her. Hmmmmm. Yes, yes I have. Did I want it that way? No. I was always much better at being just a Mom. But hey, what are you going to do when you're a single parent? Whether you like it or not, do it well or not, you have to wear both hats. She just wanted to thank me for taking on such a huge task and giving it my best. (she is a newish Mom now and sees the overwhelming task with a greater appreciation - I love it when kids grow up!) What did I say to her? I said, "Thank you My Dear Sweet Beautiful Daughter."
A brief history and definition; Father's Day - a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Father's Day was founded in Spokane, Washington at the YMCA in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd, who was born in Arkansas. Its first celebration was in the Spokane YMCA on June 19, 1910. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis' Mother's Day in 1909, Dodd told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father's birthday, the pastors hadn't enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. Father's Day did not become an official national holiday until Richard Nixon declared it thus in 1972.
A single man, raising his six children alone in 1910? I can see why Sonora Smart Dodd felt like honoring her father. Personally, and I'm sure I'll get some flack for this, but personally, I could do without both Mother's Day and Father's Day. Not that my mother wasn't honorable, it's just that the gratitude I felt for her, I expressed to her on a regular basis - didn't need a national holiday to celebrate her. What made it most difficult as a child, my mother hated her mother and so Mother's Day was a day we tip-toed around while I was growing up. My Mother was never happy on that day, in fact she frequently cried or made herself scarce. My Father, if you go off the above definition from Wikipedia, was hardly involved in the parenting process and what he did involve himself in had a negative impact on his young daughters. Paternal bonds? No, I won't even go there. My son and son-in-laws, are, on the other hand very involved with parenting and raising their children. Their influence on their daughters is very different, what it should be I think. I appreciate them and tell them so frequently, but it's a private thing on a personal level. Same with my children and me. They tell me frequently how much I mean to them, they thank me often for my role and place in their lives. They love and appreciate our relationships. I guess it's a nice reminder for people who maybe aren't so open, but for many, many of us, Mother's Day and Father's Day are nothing but uncomfortable and days we wish would go away. Uncomfortable because of the pressure we feel to say or do something we don't really mean. I don't know about you, but when I feel pressured into sweet sappy cards when the memories I have have painful, it is gut wrenching. The cards that would express how I really feel aren't printable - guess it's a good thing they don't print those. I understand now why my Mother chose to make herself scarce. Even though my children go through with celebrations on Mother's Day, I always feel guilt and undeserving of their attention. I remember every little - and big - mistake I ever made and I don't feel good about them. However, I can feel good about the role of Motherhood and it's impact on society in general. The roles of fathers in the last two decades is more positive, more hands-on and more tender. I can feel good and hopeful about that too.
A brief history and definition; Father's Day - a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Father's Day was founded in Spokane, Washington at the YMCA in 1910 by Sonora Smart Dodd, who was born in Arkansas. Its first celebration was in the Spokane YMCA on June 19, 1910. Her father, the Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart, was a single parent who raised his six children. After hearing a sermon about Jarvis' Mother's Day in 1909, Dodd told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them. Although she initially suggested June 5, her father's birthday, the pastors hadn't enough time to prepare their sermons, and the celebration was deferred to the third Sunday of June. Father's Day did not become an official national holiday until Richard Nixon declared it thus in 1972.
A single man, raising his six children alone in 1910? I can see why Sonora Smart Dodd felt like honoring her father. Personally, and I'm sure I'll get some flack for this, but personally, I could do without both Mother's Day and Father's Day. Not that my mother wasn't honorable, it's just that the gratitude I felt for her, I expressed to her on a regular basis - didn't need a national holiday to celebrate her. What made it most difficult as a child, my mother hated her mother and so Mother's Day was a day we tip-toed around while I was growing up. My Mother was never happy on that day, in fact she frequently cried or made herself scarce. My Father, if you go off the above definition from Wikipedia, was hardly involved in the parenting process and what he did involve himself in had a negative impact on his young daughters. Paternal bonds? No, I won't even go there. My son and son-in-laws, are, on the other hand very involved with parenting and raising their children. Their influence on their daughters is very different, what it should be I think. I appreciate them and tell them so frequently, but it's a private thing on a personal level. Same with my children and me. They tell me frequently how much I mean to them, they thank me often for my role and place in their lives. They love and appreciate our relationships. I guess it's a nice reminder for people who maybe aren't so open, but for many, many of us, Mother's Day and Father's Day are nothing but uncomfortable and days we wish would go away. Uncomfortable because of the pressure we feel to say or do something we don't really mean. I don't know about you, but when I feel pressured into sweet sappy cards when the memories I have have painful, it is gut wrenching. The cards that would express how I really feel aren't printable - guess it's a good thing they don't print those. I understand now why my Mother chose to make herself scarce. Even though my children go through with celebrations on Mother's Day, I always feel guilt and undeserving of their attention. I remember every little - and big - mistake I ever made and I don't feel good about them. However, I can feel good about the role of Motherhood and it's impact on society in general. The roles of fathers in the last two decades is more positive, more hands-on and more tender. I can feel good and hopeful about that too.