“NO, I don’t want you to call me a cab! I don’t want to go to the ER! That’s WHY I waited and came here! That’s WHY I’ve been sitting outside since 7:15 this morning!”
“Well, sorry. We can’t help you here.” The nurse standing behind the idiot quietly suggested the Express Urgent Care Clinic at the hospital – it’s different from the ER. Maybe I could try them. I asked her for more information and she left to get me what I needed. In the meantime, Idiot PA said, “Express Urgent Care Clinic won’t accept your medical coverage unless you have a referral from an OB/GYN.” “Can you guys give me one?”
“We’re family planning and your Primary Car Phys. isn’t in today. I couldn’t give you a referral unless I did a pelvic exam.”
“Then do a pelvic exam.”
“Can’t do a pelvic exam without a good reason.”
“I have a cyst on my ovary, isn’t that reason enough?”
“How do I know that?”
“Because I say so!! I KNOW what they feel like for Hells sake!”
“Well, I need proof. Go home, wait a month and if you’re still in pain, then we can suspect a cyst.” Just before I launched myself at her, the kind soft spoken nurse walked in with a piece of paper. “Here’s the information on the clinic.” She noticed the tension in the room. “What’s going on?”
“I need a referral for the clinic to accept my insurance.”
“We can do that here can’t we?” she asked the PA. “Not without a pelvic exam and an ultrasound.”
“So, why don’t we do it?”
“I don’t have enough reason to think she needs one. I told her to come back in a month if she was still in pain.” I was visibly shaking, steam curling from the top of my head and about to bleed from every pore. The nurse looked at me and registered they were in danger. “Um, maybe, you could consider this pain bad enough for an exam.”
“You think I should do the exam just because SHEE says she has a cyst?!”
“YESSSSS!!” I yelled shaking my hands. The nurse said she’d get the machine ready and quickly left the room. The PA glared at me before she walked out and by God, I glared back. Ten minutes later, the three of us were in the ultrasound room, I was completely exposed and the exam was underway. “What’s that mass” the nurse asked the PA? “Well, it looks like a cyst. A large one.”
“I’ll get the form ready for you to sign.” And she left the room. Angry silence crackled the air. Without another word, the PA printed the image she’d captured for me, handed it over then disappeared into the hall. By the time the nurse came back I was dressed. “I’ll fax the paperwork over to the clinic right away. I’m really sorry for your discomfort and that we made it worse.” I thanked her then gathered my things. Stopped at the desk on my way out and told them to flag my file – that PA was never to be in the same room with me again.
I went to the Express Urgent Care the following morning, couldn’t get a ride till then. In good time they showed me to a room, a nurse came in and took my vitals. Low grade fever, temp 99.9 – I always run to the colder side of normal. The doctor came in. I showed her the image taken from the previous days ultrasound. She looked at my chart, we talked briefly and she tapped my back. Kidney infection was ruled out. “Possible kidney stones along with the ovarian cyst. In either case you just have to ride it out. Kidney stones will eventually pass on their own – or not. Sometimes we have to go in and blast or remove them. Cysts will rupture on their own and if they don’t after several months then that can be removed as well. Usually they’re benign and nothing to worry about. We can’t do anything right now but manage the pain. Come back in two days if you’re experiencing nausea/vomiting, chills and fever.” “That’s where I’m at now – except vomiting. Why do I have to come back in two days?”
“Technically you don’t have a fever.”
“You just took my temp. It was 99.9 – how is that not a fever?”
“Your temp has to be over 100.4 to qualify as a fever here.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Yes. We’ll give you prescriptions for the pain and the nausea.” And then she was gone. The nurse brought in the meds and a small cup for water. She handed me the cup of water, and a pain pill, I took the pill and swallowed it with a sip of water. “Finish the water,” says the nurse. I didn’t want to. Drinking made me feel like vomiting. Instead of telling her that I said I was saving the remainder for the other pill. “The other pill goes under your tongue. Drink the water.” She was looking at me hard. “I don’t want to drink the water, it makes me feel sick.” She leveled her gaze at me, cranked her intensity to “big trouble or else mode”, and raised one eyebrow. “DRINK IT.” Some people you just don’t mess with, this was one of them. I drank the water. And I felt sick but held my cookies. I called for my ride then walked outside to wait. The pills kicked in before I made it home because I don’t remember the ride. Whatever the combination was, it knocked me out cold. I slept from 1 p.m. yesterday till 10 a.m. this morning. When I woke up I was head at the foot of my bed and feet at the top. I had horrible dreams and according to my daughter I’d gotten up and wandered about a bit without recognizing her. Fortunately, she’s a big girl and can get her own food.
So, where has all that left me? Same place I was on Monday. Low grade fever, nausea, chills, pain, lack of appetite, waiting on a referral to visit an OB/GYN, which will undoubtedly be a long time from now. I’d rather have resolve, but at least I have pain meds.