So far, this sounds more glorious and glamorous than it really is. Motherhood at its very best, even with a great co-partner on board, can never be called glorious OR glamorous. The pace and responsibility of Single-Motherhood is exhausting, mind-boggling, overwhelming, and can get downright ugly. There is no harder job on this planet. Having been a single mother myself, I know what these two women are up against. Having raised these two women, and now see their daughters, I know what these two are really up against.
Ever heard of The Mother’s Curse? You know, those words that may have escaped your clenched teeth in moments of your own parenting despair; “someday, I hope you get a child who acts just like you!” Believe in the curse, it works. In this case, that’s the bad news AND the good news. Spirited, sneaky, brains under single management – their own, and FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, are words I would have used to describe these sisters. As well as, fun, energetic, curious, loyal, creative, imaginative, delightful, hearts as big as their spirits and better than gold. The spirit of each girl filled whatever room she entered and made it sparkle with magic. I have also just described their daughters. In truth, my daughters are both raising a miniature version of herself – and her sister. Wait, does that constitute a double curse? Uh-oh, not sure, but maybe. Karma, it can really be a bitch.
Technically the five year olds are cousin’s, but they are all but joined physically at the hip. Same age, same school, same CLASSROOM in school, same family and same care-givers. The mother’s at least have breaks from each other while at work. The girls do not. They are being raised as sisters. Means they are BF’s, thick as thieves - and just as sneaky one minute, and at each other’s throats the next. It’s a love hate relationship which just amps up the good times and moments of exasperation for their Mom’s. (As well as their school teacher, but that’s for another time, God bless her.)
When my girls were younger, would I have wished this life for them? Did I wish tears, struggles and exhaustion on them? No. I did hope my children would always be close. I wanted for them to have a life of joy. I had hoped their lives would fall nicely and quietly into place for them. I wished for them picture perfect. I hoped for them the greatest of blessings from Heaven.
Picture perfect is a fantasy. Blessings are real. And these two grown women are blessed and bless each other – and their daughters and nieces. I am not physically within distance to help them and enjoy them and their daughters like I always hoped I would be (one of the greatest sorrows of my life). But these two each have their sister. And that’s solid. How to love each other was never a problem. How to make life beautiful was never a problem. How to fight and disagree without killing each other, now that, has been a problem. For two plus decades. To see these amazing women grow and mature and weather their storms as individuals and as a team is better than perfect. To watch them carve out their lives with their bare hands, to see their strength leaves me in awe. To watch them ride the tides of their own humanity and their own womanhood is thrilling to me as their mother. To know the beauty of each of them through and through, to be deemed Mother and Friend to them, is one of my greatest joys. Their amazing daughters, who are so much like their mothers, are another. These two have shown me The Mother’s Curse can be a blessing. All Hail The Momtie!!!