So so so sad about the death of Robin Williams. Mixed bag of emotions, reading all will explain.
I learned of this tragedy early yesterday afternoon and have spent all this time trying to find my words, trying to settle my brain. Time isn't helping. I hope writing will. There is deep and great sadness over the loss, for the entire human race, for me as an individual and for the family he leaves behind. Robin Williams was a singular giant and a gifted talent. He was contagious and touched us all. His presence among us was nothing short of magic. The "Greats" come and go. New "Greats" take their places. But some people leave a mark so wide and so deep it can never be refilled. It becomes a void when they vacate this plane. Robin Williams, the loss of the gift of himself, leaves such a void. He will be sorely missed by all and by me. I am sad he is gone from amongst us for now.
Many of the condolence messages and comments have included the familiar RIP - Rest In Peace. Peace - yes. But resting?? Seriously? Robin Williams couldn't sit still in his own body, I can't imagine his spirit being contained!!!! I know he will get the answers he deserves, then watch over his family in true Robin Williams style. The rest of us he will watch for new material.
I never met Robin Williams but his work touched my life. God Bless Him for his magic!! My mother is long gone now. One of my most precious memories of her is watching her watch "Mrs Doubtfire," and laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and tears ran down her cheeks. Even trying to explain the movie and his performance to someone who hadn't seen it yet, she literally double over holding her tummy and laughing till she cried again. Thank you for such memories. Thank you for such a legacy Robin Williams.
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Beyond the grief, it is the apparent suicide of Robin Williams that has me rattled. If you've never experienced severe depression, you will think me callous. I'm not. If you have experienced it, struggled with it, then you must understand where I'm coming from. A fan since his Mork and Mindy beginnings, I was aware of his struggles. The moment I heard the news of his passing, I was stunned, but I wasn't shocked. I felt relief for him. "Finally, peace for you my brother." I believe in life after death. I could imagine him, his bruised, and tired soul being welcomed into the outstretched arms of Love - of The One who has the answers and can and will help him feel whole again. On some level I felt a tinge of jealousy.
So many times I've faked my way through my day behind a happy face that wasn't real inside. So many days I wore the brave face even as my bravery diminished by the minute. When it's dark and painful inside, and you don't want to frighten the people you love, your face learns to hold a deceptive pose. I have struggled with depression. In the very recent past, it's been severe enough I wanted OUT. I wanted out of this world, out of this life. I wanted out of the alone-ness, and out of dispair. Exhausted and lost, I longed for peacefulness and rest. Suicide became a desirable option. I wanted to end my life. I don't know why I reached out, still haven't figured that out yet, but I did. I contacted someone I knew would try to pull me back. I'm still here - but, still struggling.
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I have read a few comments today in the media, "cowards way out," "act of selfishness". These words anger me. I'm sure there are probably a number of reasons why someone considers ending their life. I don't believe for a second Robin Williams was a coward. I believe he was tired. Just done. Selfish? In my mind a selfish person is one who thinks only of themselves, getting gain for themselves and mean spiritedly trying to make sure no one else has any happiness. That was not Robin Williams.
I learned of this tragedy early yesterday afternoon and have spent all this time trying to find my words, trying to settle my brain. Time isn't helping. I hope writing will. There is deep and great sadness over the loss, for the entire human race, for me as an individual and for the family he leaves behind. Robin Williams was a singular giant and a gifted talent. He was contagious and touched us all. His presence among us was nothing short of magic. The "Greats" come and go. New "Greats" take their places. But some people leave a mark so wide and so deep it can never be refilled. It becomes a void when they vacate this plane. Robin Williams, the loss of the gift of himself, leaves such a void. He will be sorely missed by all and by me. I am sad he is gone from amongst us for now.
Many of the condolence messages and comments have included the familiar RIP - Rest In Peace. Peace - yes. But resting?? Seriously? Robin Williams couldn't sit still in his own body, I can't imagine his spirit being contained!!!! I know he will get the answers he deserves, then watch over his family in true Robin Williams style. The rest of us he will watch for new material.
I never met Robin Williams but his work touched my life. God Bless Him for his magic!! My mother is long gone now. One of my most precious memories of her is watching her watch "Mrs Doubtfire," and laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and tears ran down her cheeks. Even trying to explain the movie and his performance to someone who hadn't seen it yet, she literally double over holding her tummy and laughing till she cried again. Thank you for such memories. Thank you for such a legacy Robin Williams.
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Beyond the grief, it is the apparent suicide of Robin Williams that has me rattled. If you've never experienced severe depression, you will think me callous. I'm not. If you have experienced it, struggled with it, then you must understand where I'm coming from. A fan since his Mork and Mindy beginnings, I was aware of his struggles. The moment I heard the news of his passing, I was stunned, but I wasn't shocked. I felt relief for him. "Finally, peace for you my brother." I believe in life after death. I could imagine him, his bruised, and tired soul being welcomed into the outstretched arms of Love - of The One who has the answers and can and will help him feel whole again. On some level I felt a tinge of jealousy.
So many times I've faked my way through my day behind a happy face that wasn't real inside. So many days I wore the brave face even as my bravery diminished by the minute. When it's dark and painful inside, and you don't want to frighten the people you love, your face learns to hold a deceptive pose. I have struggled with depression. In the very recent past, it's been severe enough I wanted OUT. I wanted out of this world, out of this life. I wanted out of the alone-ness, and out of dispair. Exhausted and lost, I longed for peacefulness and rest. Suicide became a desirable option. I wanted to end my life. I don't know why I reached out, still haven't figured that out yet, but I did. I contacted someone I knew would try to pull me back. I'm still here - but, still struggling.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have read a few comments today in the media, "cowards way out," "act of selfishness". These words anger me. I'm sure there are probably a number of reasons why someone considers ending their life. I don't believe for a second Robin Williams was a coward. I believe he was tired. Just done. Selfish? In my mind a selfish person is one who thinks only of themselves, getting gain for themselves and mean spiritedly trying to make sure no one else has any happiness. That was not Robin Williams.