So I’ve been considering the shape – and location - of my breasts at the age of 53. Why am I considering this? Well, darn, because every time I lay down on my back, my breasts disappear into my armpits. The nipples are confused too. Used to be they looked heavenward, now they’re just hangdog eyeballing the ground. It’s a problem. I don’t want implants, but it would be nice to reign these puppies in and have them re-centered and their gaze redirected to appreciate the sun.
Tonight was the first time I’ve done any research on the possibilities and procedures. This kills me; do you know what they use as a test to determine if a lift is needed? They call it the “pencil test”. Basically, while standing, if you place a pencil under your breast, and it stays in place, you have the droops. Well chit, my boobies could hold my friggin wallet under there no problem!!! Guess I have the droops - or the dropsies, or flopsies, whatever term you like. But now the problem is, I saw what they do to your girls during surgery, I nearly fainted, and my tongue is dry from my mouth not being able to close for a full thirty minutes!! Um, OOOOOOOUCH!!!!!!! And this is done as an outpatient surgery?? They cut, they sew, they hack away and re-form with a possible surgical staple finish. Staples?? To snag and grab – OH I DON’T THINK SO!! Of course they warn of possible ‘mild discomfort for next few days and suggest pain medication may be prescribed. Ya think?? Oh yes, I think so. And not for just a week. And then there’s the scarring. Yeah, it’s not pretty. Nice half circle smile under each breast with a straight line up to the areola. After a year the scarring should fade some. But in the meantime, how would I feel about these scars being visible to others at times when I may want to roam around the natural world in nothing but my birthday suit? Hmmmmmmm, something else to consider.
So what do I think now?? Well, I think I’d have to want this re-construction to my tender parts p.r.e.t.t.y. d.a.r.n. b.a.d.!! Or, come to terms with having a new place to carry my wallet and nipple dragging. No matter what, aging and what gravity does to my body SUCKS!!!
Tonight was the first time I’ve done any research on the possibilities and procedures. This kills me; do you know what they use as a test to determine if a lift is needed? They call it the “pencil test”. Basically, while standing, if you place a pencil under your breast, and it stays in place, you have the droops. Well chit, my boobies could hold my friggin wallet under there no problem!!! Guess I have the droops - or the dropsies, or flopsies, whatever term you like. But now the problem is, I saw what they do to your girls during surgery, I nearly fainted, and my tongue is dry from my mouth not being able to close for a full thirty minutes!! Um, OOOOOOOUCH!!!!!!! And this is done as an outpatient surgery?? They cut, they sew, they hack away and re-form with a possible surgical staple finish. Staples?? To snag and grab – OH I DON’T THINK SO!! Of course they warn of possible ‘mild discomfort for next few days and suggest pain medication may be prescribed. Ya think?? Oh yes, I think so. And not for just a week. And then there’s the scarring. Yeah, it’s not pretty. Nice half circle smile under each breast with a straight line up to the areola. After a year the scarring should fade some. But in the meantime, how would I feel about these scars being visible to others at times when I may want to roam around the natural world in nothing but my birthday suit? Hmmmmmmm, something else to consider.
So what do I think now?? Well, I think I’d have to want this re-construction to my tender parts p.r.e.t.t.y. d.a.r.n. b.a.d.!! Or, come to terms with having a new place to carry my wallet and nipple dragging. No matter what, aging and what gravity does to my body SUCKS!!!
