Yes I know I haven’t posted for two weeks. I’ve been being traumatized and recuperating over and over on a daily basis for two weeks. The trauma? My daughter, my Pip, the one taking great strides into adulthood has finally obtained her "Drivers Permit."  This is not her Drivers LICENSE. There’s a difference. This is the piece of paper that declares she knew enough about the rules of the road to pass the DMV exam and is now permitted to LEARN to drive. And here comes the trauma - I am the one teaching her. I swear, if we can survive this and come out still friends on the other end, we should be able to make it through anything! Tensions are high, both nervous systems on full alert, and the blood pumping hard and fast while we’re in the car. Once I reach the safety of my bedroom, my head is spinning, my body vibrating and I’m in need of some serious unwind time.

She’s doing much better lately, but the first day she ran a stop sign, parked us on a sidewalk, drove us into a bush and backed us up onto some guys lawn. Corners where just freakin SCARY! Two wheels Man, she could only keep TWO wheels on the ground!! Or she’d forget to give it gas enough to finish getting around a corner and there we’d be, sitting with other cars coming at us.

She hasn’t worked her way up to freeways yet – which is just fine by me, however, she reached freeway speeds on some of those first hundred corners! We’re still avoiding major three lane streets and parallel parking – that’s how we ended up on the guys lawn. So wish me luck!

What do I have to say about the 49er’s / St. Louis Rams game last night!!!!!!! HOT DAMN, HELLYA AND GOOOOO 49er’s!!!!

By the way, the black lace gloves have been effective for their intended purpose. However, they are no discouragement from cracking knuckles – damn!

GROWING GAINS

Well, my youngest, that would be Piper, has taken yet another step into the world of adulthood - two actually. Last week she had her very first job interview, got the job - no thanks to me - and then she opened her first checking account by herself. Some of you, most probably, may think that at 18, nearly 19 years of age, these are miles stones she should have passed long ago. All I will say about that is, it was necessary to put certain things on hold until after her 18th birthday, when legally she could take things into her own hands. One unfortunate consequence of the waiting has been that she hasn't been able to feel the self-confidence that comes with these rites of passage at an earlier age. Oh, she's more mature than most her age, the unique challenges of her life has shaped her that way. But self-confidence is not the same as maturity. So like I said, she has been in transition this week, and by way of her, so have I. And I'm quite comfortable with both.  What makes me prime candidate for Worst Mother Of The Year Award? I made her a half hour late to her first job interview!!! Accidental of course, I would never do anything purposefully to undermine the success of a child. But still it was very much my fault. In MY eagerness and nervousness (yes I still get nervous for my children even at the ripe old age of 50), I took the wrong exit onto the wrong freeway and off we went out of town. Yeah, great. For certain the air in the car between us was a bit, um, "sparky". In the end Piper handled it well (with grace and silence). She made the calls she needed to make and she was still able to have the interview. Like I said, she got the job. Whewwwwww!!! And I had the opportunity to connect in a learning moment with my oldest three children. I shared my misery at my own blunder.  They were wise and loving, all of them, "she won't hate you forever Mom." She didn't.  The young woman, who only twenty minutes before was trembling with nerves and pale as could be, that got back in the car was her normal, albeit, freshly flustered self. The first thing she said to me was, "Man that guy was cute!" Then she said she'd gotten the job - priorities people, priorities!

Later that day, she announced she didn't think she'd need me after all to help her get her bank account. "I think I can do this myself", she said. YESSSSSSSSS!!!! GOOOOOOO PIPER!!!!!!! And she did.



FORMS

All this week I've been filling out on-line job applications.  The lack of human interaction is so foreign to me, it's quite unnerving and distressing. I have no idea if I'm reaching anyone. Personally I fail to see how this method of screening can be all that efficient.  I expect there to be background checks, no one wants to hire persons with criminal tendencies, but credit checks?! Really?! And yes, on several I had to mark the little box agreeing to a "credit" check as part of a background check. Does having non-favorable credit mean you are non-capable of follow through with a job? Some may say yes. Obviously or there wouldn't be this silly hurdle. However, I beg to differ. There are many reasons why a persons credit situation may be lacking. A single parent, with a vengeful malicious ex. who destroyed your credit to make life miserable for one.

One of favorite places to shop, an arts and crafts store I won't name, besides having the usual background, credit checks, work history and educational history, also has a 12 page personality test! Yes I said TWELVE page PERSONALITY test. All multiple choice questions of course.  Seriously?!  You can interpret my personality by having me answer 12 pages of multiple choice questions without ever shaking my hand or looking in my eyes?  I beg to differ. You can't judge disrespect, maturity and professionalism that way. You can't even tell if there is humor or a light in the eye. Case in point; this particular store, is the place where I experienced the worst treatment and service I've ever endured in a business establishment in my entire life. Their 12 page personality test won't, or didn't, weed out bad attitudes and non-professionalism. Was the person who treated me so rudely - as well her manager I might add - just having a bad day? No. Rolling your eyes, and sighing with displeasure are bad habits, immature and unprofessional. Personality characteristics you don't see on paper, or digital paper.  Am I just old-fashioned? Piper is a bit more accepting of this sort of process than I am. Perhaps she's too young to know and appreciate the subtleties and necessities of human to human contact. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for technological advances in appropriate ways and places. But not when it comes to how we judge or asses each other as humans. Technology cannot, and SHOULD NOT replace intuition.



GOT GLOVES, GOOD TO GO!!!

As I threatened to do in last weeks post, I have indeed purchased a pair of gloves to wear during the San Fransisco 49ers vs the Seattle SeaHawks game today. A nice lovely black lace pair!! Oh yeah, I'm good to go!!!

Will be leaving soon for a two week visit with my older daughters and their daughters. Piper is coming with me, this will be her first trip anywhere by plane and our air time will be extensive. This will also be the first time in six years I will have all my daughters together in one spot! And now they're all grown-ups!  Am I excited? HECK YA!! Also a little anxious to be leaving Buntah. Every other time I've gone away, Pip has been here to care for her. My dear sweet loving friend will be coming in to take care of her, but silly as this may sound, I'm afraid Buntah will think we've abandoned her. I know myself, I will be calling every night to check on them.

I started a letter to my daughters a few weeks ago when they asked me for advice on Life and Happiness. At this rate, I'll see them before the letter is finished. However, I will finish it. Who knows what kind of wisdom will come from our combined conversations?! I will post the letter here on my blog with the other family letters.

Pip and I drove down the coast on Saturday and went out on a Whale Watching adventure. It was exciting and disappointing at the same time. I had expected to see whales, which we did - one Blue Whale and two Humpbacks - but never got close enough for a good look see. We saw a lot of 'spouting' and some tail. The water was a bit choppy making for rougher waves, which makes it harder to see them. We never got to see how big they really were and no opportunity to see faces. No breaching.  Still, it was a once in a life-time thing for us. Once was probably enough. Unless, of course, I could know for certain I'd get a good close-up look, then I'd be out there again so fast!!  Both of us enjoyed the trip out onto the ocean since neither of us had ever been before. Took some pictures but haven't figured out how to get them from the camera to the computer. One I do, I'll post a few.

I have a lot to do before we can leave for our trip. One thing in particular; I have to finish a blanket I started nine months ago for one of my grand daughters. It was my first real quilt and I messed it up as only I can mess something up. I'm trying to save it now. Both luck AND skill have been slow in coming to me!!

THE BADDASS – My oldest daughter thinks I am a BADDASS. Why? Because I didn’t kill her when she was a child. 

She called a few days ago to lay this new title on me. Her inspiration for my new title was a particularly trying trip to the grocery store with her own two-year-old daughter. My daughter, Veda, is increasingly aware of the similarities in her personality and that of her own daughter. The more she learns, the more she's impressed she's impressed with me. I'll take it. My daughter had such a strong propensity for dramatic flare that her grandfather nicknamed her “Little Shakespeare” by the time she turned two herself.

Veda shared her ordeal. This is the tale of “The Cookies”, and hearing her       I had to laugh out loud.    Picture this, busy grocery store in the middle of the afternoon, the "I'm a procrastinator, what's for dinner tonight" crowd in force. Here comes a pretty, but tired and somewhat frazzled single mom, just off a long shift and still in her hospital scrubs. Her big brown eyes show weariness and say  . She is anxious to get through this grocery store as quickly, and quietly, as possible and on to the next obligation of the waning day.  Her sweet two year old daughter sits in the front of the basket, bouncy blonde hair, dimples and bright saucy, blue eyes daring anyone to displease her (remember, she is her Mother's child).  Make no mistake, this is an adorable child, face of an Angel. But here's the thing about grocery stores and children if you don't already know it, grocery stores turn children into terrorists. It's true.  Really it is. Avoid mixing the two whenever possible. Cookie aisles are the worst.  Veda looked down her list, the cookie aisle could not be avoided this trip. Her daughter loves cookies of course, again her mother's child. The cookie aisle was next.

My granddaughter is smart - and she has skills. Skills she was born with that cannot be explained. My granddaughter can sniff out a package of Oreo’s if it's buried in the ground. And my granddaughter really likes Oreo's. This child is also smart enough to know that if her mother was going to kill her, it wouldn't be in front of the "what's for dinner crowd." All children it seems are born knowing this. Mom starts the cart down the aisle. Child, even though they are behind her, her spine tingles and can sense the presence of OREO'S. She says she would like some cookies. It's before dinner, my daughter tried to reason with her child but in the end the answer was still no. Know this, you cannot reason with terrorists no matter their age or size. Now the child, realizing the potential for an attentive audience and maximized embarrassment for Mom, begins throwing herself dramatically side to side in the seat of the cart, head flopping, arms flailing. Giant tears, lots of drool, anguished pleas, even outstretched arms, “COOOOOKIES!  Cooooookies!” jerk crash, jerk crash as her little feet kick against the cart. And sure enough, the sound of her anguished cries are distressing enough to draw the attention of every busy body within half a mile - in the grocery store that can be a lot of smart ass busy bodies. Some of the male store patrons slid my daughter a sympathetic eye, but the ladies, oh the ladies - not so sympathetic. When it comes to matters of well-behaved, or NOT well-behaved children, every woman knows what's best. And some women, if you don't know it already, some women WILL tell you what you're doing wrong with your child.   My daughter tried again to reason. Up the volume and intensity of tantrum. Now my daughter decided just to ignore and go along her way.  People were staring, eyes bugged and mouths agape, that's hard to ignore. Especially when you're tired, over worked and already frazzled.

In admittedly, not her best parenting moment, she caved. My daughter caved. She finally reached back, grabbed a bag of goddamn Oreo’s and ripped it open right there in the aisle. Ahhh, silence. It's hard to cry and carry on when your mouth is full of yummy chocolatey Oreo's.  One woman, who had drawn nearer with a nasty eye of harsh and criticizing judgment, continued to stare, mouth agape. My daughter, pushed beyond reason, no more patience, and feeling backed into a corner, turned, faced the woman head-on with all the intensity of emotion that ebbs from you in a moment like this, and stared the woman down.  Both women, eyes locked, mental slashing going on, stared at each other. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 20 seconds, that's it, my daughters hip swings out her head jags to the side, and “yeah, I opened the package – you got a problem with that?!” spewed from her mouth. The older woman, hmphfed, flipped her hair and snorted as she finally sailed under the shade of her own nose. The only victor was my granddaughter (who by the way was quite content at this point).

Story over, trying to stop laughing because now were coming the serious questions. “How did you do it Mom? What did you do?” I was still laughing. Oh, alright, how did I do it? Honestly I can’t remember if I used any secret tricks. I was a single mom too - with FOUR children. When you're single, there’s no one to leave the kids with while you go shopping, you have to take them with you to this terrible place.

I do remember making a list of "Rules for Personal Conduct in Public Places" and posting it on the wall. And before we even got to the store, the kids were informed of what was going to go down and what wasn't. They were informed of the consequences for crossing said lines in advance. I've walked away from a full cart more than once to take an unruly surprised child home. I tried to do our shopping after dinner or after a meal on weekends so they were less vulnerable to the temptations. We also had a “you can only ask once rule” in our family, which carried over to road trip “are we there yet’s” as well as the grocery store. I guess they figured if they only get to ask once you better make sure it’s something you really, really want. Gave them something to think about for a bit anyway.

“Motherhood pushes you to every imaginable limit and beyond,” I told my daughter, “you’ll make some good choices and you'll make some bad choices. Oh and you'll feel guilty all the time for something, that’s part of the package too.” I know my daughter, she’ll shine mostly and some day, someday, her daughter will be calling her to tell her what a BADDASS she was!