I've been inside, outside, and upside down this last month - all metaphorically speaking. Except for the inside part, which for the last nine ten days has been literal. I've been inside trying to recover from a major nasty go round with an Oral Surgeon. Two of them actually. One Dr. Yo and Dr. Katie (can't remember her last name). I secretly think of them as the Yo-Katie Team, or The Champs. Because when I left their office ten days ago, I looked like I'd just gone three rounds with a Heavy Weight Champ and I was the one who ended up on the floor down for the count!! Eyes all froggy like, swollen, bruised face, lower lip puffed and bleeding, two teeth missing. I developed a complication known as "Hot Bone". Trust me, it's got NOTHING to do with sexiness. Hot Bone is a technical term, (in laymans speech), meaning basically "you're screwed". They had to do a lot of bone breaking and drilling and the bone reacted in kind by swelling and getting hot. Go figure. Pain meds were ineffective. Until this morning, after four days on a steroid, I was literally crazed and crippled by the agony.
But before that, emotionally, I was rather for personal reasons and also deeply mired in the pre-Christmas funk. Hmmphf. Christmas. Just what the hell anyway? Oh yeah, I know, celebration of Christ's birth. But really, four weeks, or more, of irritating obligations, commercialization, expectations and let-downs. Christmas was different when I was a kid. There was a magic to Christmas then. It was simple. You dream, you look through the ENTIRE Sears Christmas Wish catalog, you write your letters to Santa, bake cookies, decorate a tree and wait. Then on Christmas morning pretending to be happy you got toothpaste, an orange and new underwear. Oh yeah, the good old days.
Some days after that, you begin to realize what the best parts of Christmas were. The anticipation, the smells, the music, the sound of your mothers voice singing along with carols. The stories, the specials, watching "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and watching a tear slide down your mothers cheek when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes. "A Charlie Brown Christmas," no matter what my mother was doing, she always dropped it to sit and watch those two specials with me. And I liked the pretty lights all around. We made ornaments out of photographs. But the best part was decorating the house and the tree with my sister. Such precious memories. Especially now that both my mother and sister are gone. So, where did Jesus fit in all of this? I never fully understood his place as being real, until I read the book "Two From Galilee". That book changed how I viewed Christmas forever more.
Years later, I would create a Christmas Tradition, that had/has, the potential to become a nightmare. When my oldest child was four years old, she came to me and wanted me to give her money so she could buy presents. That year, I only had $40 to do an entire Christmas for her. I came up with the Christmas Cookie idea. We make cookies and sell them. Not just any old cookies but our extra special, homemade sugar cookies, with my killer frosting and sprinkles. We take orders, we bake, (everyone helps) and we deliver. After that, we split the booty as many ways as there were children. That was how they earned their Christmas spending money. Like I said this has been a tradition for over two decades now. How did it turn into a monster? Our cookies are so damn delicious word spread, people ordered more and our lives - well MY life - became consumed, CONSUMED I say! One year we QUIT COUNTING at 144 dozen cookies. That's right, I said over 144 dozen!! That's a helluva lot of cookies, and a helluva lot of work! Make the dough, roll the dough, cut out the cookies, bake the cookies, make the frosting, frost the little suckers, sprinkle them then count them out, package them and then deliver. Since Piper was eighteen and I figured she'd have a job and her own income, and since I thought I'd still have my job and my own income, I HAD HOPED last Christmas would have been my final go with this monster project. Not so. I lost my job, and Piper's was only temporary. Guess what that means - yeah, WE'RE MAKING GODDAMN CHRISTMAS COOKIES AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!
Why "Finally - Game On?" Because now that I'm no longer engulfed by pain, I can smile again. I can look outside myself, take this project on, and begin my struggle to feel Christmas this year. So, tomorrow the game begins! We only have 21 dozen cookies ordered so far, but I just sent out reminder emails to thirty of our previous repeat customers. I fully expect to have double that amount within 48 hours. This project overshadows everything for days and days. Sometimes weeks. Finding Christmas will be tough I think with so much focus on "making something happen". But I will keep my heart and eyes open the catch Christmas in whatever ways I can. If I do, I'll share!
But before that, emotionally, I was rather for personal reasons and also deeply mired in the pre-Christmas funk. Hmmphf. Christmas. Just what the hell anyway? Oh yeah, I know, celebration of Christ's birth. But really, four weeks, or more, of irritating obligations, commercialization, expectations and let-downs. Christmas was different when I was a kid. There was a magic to Christmas then. It was simple. You dream, you look through the ENTIRE Sears Christmas Wish catalog, you write your letters to Santa, bake cookies, decorate a tree and wait. Then on Christmas morning pretending to be happy you got toothpaste, an orange and new underwear. Oh yeah, the good old days.
Some days after that, you begin to realize what the best parts of Christmas were. The anticipation, the smells, the music, the sound of your mothers voice singing along with carols. The stories, the specials, watching "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and watching a tear slide down your mothers cheek when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes. "A Charlie Brown Christmas," no matter what my mother was doing, she always dropped it to sit and watch those two specials with me. And I liked the pretty lights all around. We made ornaments out of photographs. But the best part was decorating the house and the tree with my sister. Such precious memories. Especially now that both my mother and sister are gone. So, where did Jesus fit in all of this? I never fully understood his place as being real, until I read the book "Two From Galilee". That book changed how I viewed Christmas forever more.
Years later, I would create a Christmas Tradition, that had/has, the potential to become a nightmare. When my oldest child was four years old, she came to me and wanted me to give her money so she could buy presents. That year, I only had $40 to do an entire Christmas for her. I came up with the Christmas Cookie idea. We make cookies and sell them. Not just any old cookies but our extra special, homemade sugar cookies, with my killer frosting and sprinkles. We take orders, we bake, (everyone helps) and we deliver. After that, we split the booty as many ways as there were children. That was how they earned their Christmas spending money. Like I said this has been a tradition for over two decades now. How did it turn into a monster? Our cookies are so damn delicious word spread, people ordered more and our lives - well MY life - became consumed, CONSUMED I say! One year we QUIT COUNTING at 144 dozen cookies. That's right, I said over 144 dozen!! That's a helluva lot of cookies, and a helluva lot of work! Make the dough, roll the dough, cut out the cookies, bake the cookies, make the frosting, frost the little suckers, sprinkle them then count them out, package them and then deliver. Since Piper was eighteen and I figured she'd have a job and her own income, and since I thought I'd still have my job and my own income, I HAD HOPED last Christmas would have been my final go with this monster project. Not so. I lost my job, and Piper's was only temporary. Guess what that means - yeah, WE'RE MAKING GODDAMN CHRISTMAS COOKIES AGAIN THIS YEAR!!!
Why "Finally - Game On?" Because now that I'm no longer engulfed by pain, I can smile again. I can look outside myself, take this project on, and begin my struggle to feel Christmas this year. So, tomorrow the game begins! We only have 21 dozen cookies ordered so far, but I just sent out reminder emails to thirty of our previous repeat customers. I fully expect to have double that amount within 48 hours. This project overshadows everything for days and days. Sometimes weeks. Finding Christmas will be tough I think with so much focus on "making something happen". But I will keep my heart and eyes open the catch Christmas in whatever ways I can. If I do, I'll share!