If you read yesterday’s post, then you know I have aging on the brain. In dedication to the theme, I offer today's rant.
It drives me absolutely, positively NUTS every time I hear, or read, someone say, “I’m proud of my gray hair. It’s a Badge of Honor.” That comment is usually followed by, “And I’ve earned every one of them,” with a chuckle and or a smile. I say, “Badge of Honor – MY ASS!” I call Buuuull-shit on that. Gray hair is a freakin BANNER exclaiming to the world that your body is starting to check-out on you. And really, no one EARNS gray hair anyway. Gray hair HAPPENS. Like shit. Saying you EARNED it insinuates that was your goal in the first place.
Olympians EARN medals. Doctors EARN a degree. I can earn certificates, awards, recognition, and even a paycheck. The military gives out medals for deeds of greatness, not for your hair turning gray and falling out.
No-one, EVER, starts out mindfully looking forward to their body shutting down, and falling apart. I’ve NEVER heard anyone say, “Oh I can’t wait to have a turkey wattle!” Or “OMG, OMG there’s my first gray hair! Let’s celebrate!” No young woman has EVER looked at her naked body in a mirror and thought to herself, “Oh God, I can’t wait for my boobs go flat and hang to my knees, oh that will be a glorious day,” or “Gees, when is my hair going to fall out already?” or “Won’t it be great when my metabolism shuts down and belly goes plump and cushy even when I exercise my ass off!” I’ve never heard any young man say, “God I can’t wait for my hair to fall out.” Or, “It’ll be so awesome to have love handles, wow, the chicks will dig me then.” Or, “I can’t wait until I can’t get it up anymore, won’t that be neat? I'll be a real stud then.” Seriously, NO-ONE is happy or proud that their aging shows.
And then there’s, “Aging with Grace”. What the hell does that mean anyway? I suppose there are people, who when they were children, went to bed serenely when told. Or sat quietly and still when a doctor or dentist inflicted pain. But I’m not one of them. By my very nature I’ve always been resister of sinister plots and unpleasant outcomes. And so far, I’ve seen nothing beneficial about this getting older and body shutting-down process. “Well you won’t have periods anymore,” my doctor said to me. And even as she said it, you can see she knows it’s a bogus bullshit trade. I guess aging with grace just isn’t within my realm of understanding.
It drives me absolutely, positively NUTS every time I hear, or read, someone say, “I’m proud of my gray hair. It’s a Badge of Honor.” That comment is usually followed by, “And I’ve earned every one of them,” with a chuckle and or a smile. I say, “Badge of Honor – MY ASS!” I call Buuuull-shit on that. Gray hair is a freakin BANNER exclaiming to the world that your body is starting to check-out on you. And really, no one EARNS gray hair anyway. Gray hair HAPPENS. Like shit. Saying you EARNED it insinuates that was your goal in the first place.
Olympians EARN medals. Doctors EARN a degree. I can earn certificates, awards, recognition, and even a paycheck. The military gives out medals for deeds of greatness, not for your hair turning gray and falling out.
No-one, EVER, starts out mindfully looking forward to their body shutting down, and falling apart. I’ve NEVER heard anyone say, “Oh I can’t wait to have a turkey wattle!” Or “OMG, OMG there’s my first gray hair! Let’s celebrate!” No young woman has EVER looked at her naked body in a mirror and thought to herself, “Oh God, I can’t wait for my boobs go flat and hang to my knees, oh that will be a glorious day,” or “Gees, when is my hair going to fall out already?” or “Won’t it be great when my metabolism shuts down and belly goes plump and cushy even when I exercise my ass off!” I’ve never heard any young man say, “God I can’t wait for my hair to fall out.” Or, “It’ll be so awesome to have love handles, wow, the chicks will dig me then.” Or, “I can’t wait until I can’t get it up anymore, won’t that be neat? I'll be a real stud then.” Seriously, NO-ONE is happy or proud that their aging shows.
And then there’s, “Aging with Grace”. What the hell does that mean anyway? I suppose there are people, who when they were children, went to bed serenely when told. Or sat quietly and still when a doctor or dentist inflicted pain. But I’m not one of them. By my very nature I’ve always been resister of sinister plots and unpleasant outcomes. And so far, I’ve seen nothing beneficial about this getting older and body shutting-down process. “Well you won’t have periods anymore,” my doctor said to me. And even as she said it, you can see she knows it’s a bogus bullshit trade. I guess aging with grace just isn’t within my realm of understanding.
